Sweet Kisses
by KittyMayhem
Summary: Sometimes sweet kisses are going to have to be enough. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps one sane...from themselves, the world, and the ones that they love so. DeexRyo


Standard Disclaimers

* * *

_Sweet kisses in the morning time  
Don't mean that you love me  
You could be wondering about another man  
Wondering why you're with me_

_But I can feel and hear your love  
in every breath you take  
When you wake within my arms  
And show me that loving you wasn't a mistake..._

_Don't ever leave me alone..._

"_Wrap me up in your love,  
Shower me with those sweet words...  
for you are all I know,  
and I know it seems absurd,  
But I really really love you...  
and I really do need you...  
and those sweet kisses are meant for me,  
so I'll only live for you..._"

The sweet strands of the melodious instrument within his hands hung in the silence of the air which was filled with the deep enriched words flowing from his throat out into the open. He sung loudly and unbiased, looking for no other opinion but his own, and even that wasn't allowed. He wanted to sing without someone running about, wanted to breathe without someone in his face, and wanted to live away from the chaos he was subjected to on a daily basis. It was more than partially his fault, but he could not help his nature, or the way god had intended for him to be. He was who he was, and at the moment, he was the lone man singing those few words that had appeared in his heart the moment he should lay eyes on the one thing he wanted most out of this miserable life.

_"If I could breathe only you,  
Live in the light of you...  
I think I could live forever;  
That's just what weeds do...  
yet you say I'm not a pain,  
It's not enough; Do I need more time?...  
I could change; I could pray...  
Were you ever truly mine?_

_Yet your sweet kisses drive me insane...."_

Insane? Did he ever really know the meaning of it until now? No, he didn't know...not until he had felt those soft lips upon his own by choice, not by force. It was so sudden, so unreal, he almost screamed when it was over and had to sit there with his jaw slightly unhinged. The love of his life had walked out on him, leaving him alone with those thoughts again; with that unsettling ache in the pit of his stomach. He hated it and loved it. He could not stand the thought of not knowing where he stood within this strange relationship, but he took pride in knowing that some, if not all, of his feelings were returned. It made that ache seem like an itch he could not get to. He wouldn't be able to rest until he found that spot and scratched it nice and long.

His fingers stilled at the thought. It was not too long ago that he had been in the game; waiting and looking just the same, hoping to find just the right person to make life worth living. With no true family to call his own, and only people who could be taken from him at any moment, he didn't see the reason to look so hard. If it was there, it was there. If not, then life would go on. It didn't mean anything to him then, and it still didn't...at least until that moment...

On another land, over the seas and away from this city, he had gotten to see just a tiny bit of his feelings returned. It was not much, but it was something to make him hope, to make him believe in it. All his life, living for it only meant death. One too many people died because of it, and he never wanted it to be him on the coroner's table. Yet now, as time drove on with or without him, he was beginning to see that it was a powerful thing. He would have died today, if it meant having it from the one person he could no longer rid himself of at night. He would have died just to see that person smile at him, to laugh with him...to have their hand in his own...

Who knew that love could make someone this crazy?

Changing the chord upon the key to his soul, he sighed and closed his eyes. Completely tuned out to the world around him as he always was when he was alone, he opened himself to the air and released all he had within him. Unknown to him, a gentle turn of a doorknob gave way to someone who had been looking for him. Someone who had a heavy heart and needed to find some release themselves...

_I have been waiting for so long  
I thought that I would never find the one  
But here you are, in my sights  
Just waiting for your someone_

_And here I am, telling you just what I feel  
But you're unsure; turn your head and walk away  
No I won't go; this feeling has taken hold  
And believe me when I do say..._

_I will wait for that day..._

_When you tell me with those three words just how you feel  
And you admit just what you've been feeling all along  
Whether its in a letter or from your voice  
When I know you've made your choice  
It won't matter because my love is just way too strong..._

The door opened a bit more as a heavy body pressed itself against it. He remained unaware of that presence, but he was faintly aware of the burning of his eyes. It never failed. When he was alone like this, no one could tell him he was less of a man for letting himself go.

_You are always turning away from me  
Saying you don't know; you need a little more time  
Well darling that's fine; Take all the time you need  
My heart won't change; And I know I'll be just fine_

_As long as you'll let me hold you  
Let me feel you  
Let me be the one to be inside of you..._

_It won't matter what you say..._

_I won't be sad if you tell me you don't feel the same  
As long as you stay by my side I'll be more than okay  
But if you should leave me I won't lie  
Don't think that I won't die inside  
Just know I will always love you; It's all I can afford to say..._

_Just know when you need me  
I'll be there..._

_Just call me  
If you only need me as a friend_

_Your happiness is all I need_

_Your smile is all I need to see_

_I walk with you forever more_

_For its only you I can adore..._

The door opened and he stopped. His cheeks stained by his emotion, he looked backward to find that no one was there. He knew better. The door just didn't open on its own. So the question was who was it that came up here and left in such a hurry? What could they have wanted? He stood from his perch high above the city and stretch himself out. By the light of the sun, it was almost time to go back.

"As much as I want to...I can't stay here forever..." he sighed to himself. "Best get back before anyone realizes I'm gone."

Carefully packing his things back into the confines of their proper cases, he gathered up everything and headed for the open door. The day was far from over, and as usual, he knew it would seem longer. It was just that feeling he had whenever he was close to him.

* * *

"Hey, your partner was looking for you."

"Was he? Well where is he now?"

"He rushed by here a second ago and ducked into the men's room."

"Oh. Well tell him I'm going out for lunch. I've got a bad case of the munchies."

"Oh no you don't. Laytner!" someone called. He froze in mid-step, grimacing at the voice piercing ever fiber of his being. Why was it that whenever he wanted to do something that guy always managed to catch him?! "The commissioner wants to see your ass, NOW."

"Ooh...someone's in trouble again," Ted razzed. "What did you do this time?"

"Don't ask me!" he snapped. "I've been good this past week!"

"You had to have done something..."

"Well I'm going to do something if you don't get your ass in there NOW!" the chief roared. "Dee! MOVE IT!"

"Bite my head off why don't you?!" he snapped. He stalked off for the commissioner's office with a growl before the chief could clock him with a paper weight. If it wasn't the chief on his ass about something, it was the commissioner. He hated that guy more than anyone else. He was so arrogant in his tone, so sure of himself and his methods, and ever so exuberant in how much he raked in on his checks. Every time he turned around he was wearing something new, or had something added to that office of his.

Perhaps it wouldn't have bothered him so if he had a piece of his world. If he could give that to the one he wanted most, then he could be happy...

"Shit, what is it now?!" he barked the moment he walked into the door. "What more could you want to pin on me?! Huh Rose?!"

The commissioner simply glared at him through those lenses. "Watch it Laytner. I haven't got anything to pin on you or blame you for...this time."

"Then what is it? I'm getting hungry and you know what a bitch I am when I'm hungry."

Who didn't know? The last time he had gone without a meal, half of the squadron had been traumatized by that randy mouth of his. Even he had to blink when it was his turn, and that meeting was not a pretty one. He sighed and adjusted his glasses, moving forward with his grace to lean on his desk. "I've got an assignment for you." he murmured. "One that needs to stay under wraps. Get me?"

"Under the hood?? What's going on?"

"...I'm going to regret this..."

Outside of the office, everything stopped at the loud, "YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?!" coming from within. Whatever the commissioner had asked him must have been out of this world.

* * *

_"I need you to do this for me...can you?"_

_"Of course I can. It'll cost you."_

_"Doesn't it always? It'll be taken care of."_

**_Taken care of my eye!_** he thought bitterly. He shook his head at the memory and sighed stabbing his salad with his fork. What a thing to ask...and what a way to die if he should screw this up. It was hard enough being himself, but to be someone else? With that kind of a background?! What was he thinking?! He was a screwed up man from a challenged life of abandonment, murder, and loss, not some millionaire hot shot looking to be signed. Why not send his partner? If anything, he was much more suited for the job than he was.

"Dee?? Is...something wrong?"

He snapped out of is thoughts and focused on the man sitting before him. "Uh...no. I was just thinking about something," he lied. Well it wasn't a lie; he was thinking about something. He just couldn't tell him what. "You said something??"

"...there's a rumor going around...something about an undercover job," he said softly.

"What about it?"

"Well...I heard that the commissioner is looking for someone to play the role of a wealthy man no one has had the liberty of seeing. For a long while now, this made up person has been making deals with a major crime lord. I heard special ops had something to do with it, but now this guy has to be seen, given an identity."

"And what does that have to do with us?"

"...nothing. I'm just saying..."

"You don't want to be picked. Do you?"

His partner shook his head furiously and looked down at his own salad. "No, of course not. I-it's just that...it might be someone we know..." he said quietly. "What if it is...one of us?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll just have to suck it up."

"Dee!!"

"What?! It's not you so who cares? You have nothing to worry about, Ryo, so stop worrying your head over it. Besides, he's picked his toy already."

Dee stuffed a forkful of salad into his mouth and chewed as best he could without looking up at his partner. He stiffened and placed his fork down, almost afraid to ask but well aware of what he had just been told. Dee swallowed and pushed his bowl away from him. He didn't have the stomach for it now.

"When?" was all he could manage to ask. "...w-when..."

"Around two...when I was going for lunch."

"Dee..."

"Ryo, it's no big deal. I'll go in, I'll come back, and then I'll go home," he sighed. "It's not like I haven't done this sort of work before. I've done it on my own, and I can take care of myself. You know that, so why are you so bugged about this?"

"...I...I'm just not comfortable with it..."

"We don't have a choice. I'm single, I have gold eyes, I match the height and weight, and I'm the only one who can fill in the suits. There's no time to worry about comfort. It's all about getting in, getting out."

"But--"

"Just stop thinking about it. It's over and done with."

Dee stood from his chair and walked away from the table. He needed a smoke, and he needed it now. Three steps away from the living room and he heard soft footsteps behind him. He held his breath and was actually glad to have done so. The weight of that man was more than anyone realized, and his strength was great when he was desperate enough. Ryo clung to him, afraid to let him go, and afraid to hold him. If he should let him go, then it would be for nothing, but if he were to keep him close...

"It's....it's not nothing," he whispered. "You...you aren't nothing..."

"Ryo..."

"Please...don't go. Don't do it...please! I can't...I can't..."

He could hear it sitting there in that voice, and feel it upon his backside as it was soaked. But he wanted to hear it from the voice itself. If after all this time he couldn't admit to it, then maybe such an emotion was highly overrated. "You can't what?" he asked gently. He was pushing him to say it, almost ripping himself from his arms when he said nothing at first. He closed his eyes, that burn festering in the pit of his stomach, until Ryo shuddered and finally lost it.

"....I can't lose you now...I just can't!" he cried. "I almost lost you once before...and it scared me so badly."

"...Ryo..."

"Please Dee! Don't do it...please...stay with me! Stay here...with me...I don't want to lose you too..."

Dee pried himself from his arms. Ryo wrapped them around himself and fell to his knees sobbing. Dee fell with him trying his damnedest not to break down. He gathered the other man into his arms, shushing him and rocking them back and forth. He didn't know why Ryo was like this but he had a good feeling about the reason. The burn in the pit of his stomach receded a bit, and it was replaced by the thundering of his heart. He swallowed, his throat dry all of a sudden, and looked down at the calming man clinging to him. Ryo's tender onyx eyes peered up at him through the soft veil of honeysuckled locks, telling him and showing him what he had uttered in a moment of delirium.

"...what?"

"I love you...I love you so much Dee..." Ryo breathed. "I wanted...to tell you...before, but you had gone..."

"You...You actually love me??"

"Yes."

He wanted to scream aloud to the heavens and jump into the deepest ocean with a smile on his face. It was like a dream coming to life, but this was real. He was holding this man in his arms, listening to him admit his feelings. He once thought that forever and a day would pass before those three words would ever leave him. It seemed that forever didn't last as long as one thought. He smiled to let him know that he believed him and gently wiped his cheeks free of his tears with a tender hand.

"I..."

_"I can feel and hear your love..."_

Ryo smiled up at him and nestled himself into his chest. "Oh, Dee..."

_"...in every breath you take...When you wake within my arms...And show me that loving you wasn't a mistake..."_

He curled in a little closer sighing in content. His tears hadn't stopped running, and they wouldn't for a little while. Despite this, he reveled in the feel of those strong arms holding him close, loving the warmth radiating from his body. Dee was always warm, hot when he was in one of his moods, but it was always appealing to him. It was one of the reasons he never removed himself from his embrace quickly. Now he had another reason to stay in his embrace, and that reason leaned over into his ear and sung something very softly as the front door opened.

_No matter how the wind blows, this only you will know....I will love you for all time...Please say you will always be mine..._

Ryo nodded softly and looked up to mewl as his lips were taken. Dee took no more than was offered to him and what he received was more than enough. He pulled away with a light lick, promising something deeper a bit later if there was a moment. Ryo sighed to himself and went back to resting against Dee.

"Hey...you do know he's waiting to kick me in the head, right?" Dee whispered.

"I know...but I'm not moving."

"Wow...you do love me."

"I told you so."

* * *

He hadn't changed his mind. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. As much as he hated Rose and everything he stood for, he hated the opposite a little more. If he were to back out now, he would be turning his back on his job not to mention breaking an old promise. But did the job have to be so soon? Did he have to leave just when things were getting good?

"Please be careful," he whispered softly. "Okay? Dee?"

"I will."

He took his hand into his own, moving in the darkness to pull him close. He only had this one moment to show him again just how strong his love was. This time he didn't have to search his eyes for reciprocation, or pray that he wouldn't shrug him away. He leaned into him and sealed their lips together, afraid to cry aloud but sobbing deep within. He could feel it as he desperately clung to him within the fifteen seconds they had left to themselves. All he wanted to do was tell him it would be all right, that he would come back to him, but there was no promise of that. He wouldn't lie to him...not now.

"Dee! Come on, we've got to go."

He sighed placing their heads together. This was it. He nearly pulled him along, but he could only back away and let their hands linger in each other's embrace for a split second. When he finally let him go, the warmth was gone from his eyes. He was the marksman, the gentle man with a soul stronger than will power alone, but he was dying inside. His Ryo was a shattered mess, and there was nothing he could do to keep him sane for these few short hours.

"Try not to worry too much, okay?" he said turning to leave. "I'll try to come back..."

"Dee...I love you..."

"I love you too. Don't you ever forget it."

"I won't."

Something wasn't right about this. Dee didn't know what it was, but there was something he was not being told. As he walked out of the room dressed to kill in a black pinstripe suit, his hair slicked back and his eyes ablaze with knowledge of the streets, he wondered just why they needed someone like him to fill this role. Why did Rose pick him instead of Ryo?

Dumb question. Ryo wouldn't risk his neck trying to save him.

Although now...he wasn't too sure of what Ryo would do.

"Are you ready Laytner?"

He snorted and looked to the man standing before him. He was also dressed in one of his finest, probably his own, while Dee's was on loan. "What's with the get up?"

"Didn't I tell you? I'm your business associate."

"Say what?!"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch. The bust happens to involve this made up character and his partner with all the connections. You represent the man in charge of the whole operation."

"Is that so. I'm warning you Rose," he growled moving close so no one but the man before him could here, "If this is some sort of bust were I am a target, you better hope I don't get shot."

"May I ask why?"

"You don't want to see me limp my ass over to you, because when I do, I'm going to shoot you."

Rose sighed quietly to himself and looked away. Dee glowered at him. "I knew it."

"You love him don't you?"

"What does this have to do with this?!"

"Well, you do, right?!"

"Of course! I would do anything for that man and you damn well know it!"

"Well then do this...because if you don't, he might die."

Dee froze in his steps. "What...what did you say??"

Rose grabbed him and made him follow him out of the building and into a waiting stretch town car. Dee stumbled a bit trying to digest what he had been told. What was that about Ryo? He might die?! How was it possible?! Dee crammed his brain for every possible answer he could think of. He came up empty. Ryo was the nicest man alive! Who would want to kill him?! Even the inmates he helped brought in thought of him as a nice man and wouldn't dare to harm him. Well, that was basically due to the fact that he could kick their asses each and every time, and the small fact that Dee had threatened to shoot off a certain part of their anatomy if they ever thought about it. Despite that, he still didn't know why or who would think of such a thing!

Rose pulled Dee into the car and signaled for the driver to go the moment the door was closed. He raised the tinted sound proof glass window between themselves and the driver. There was no need for someone else to be involved with this. No one else had to die because of prying ears. He turned to Dee who was this close from breaking the door handle. He couldn't blame him. If it had been someone that dear to him, he would be the same way.

"Listen to me, Dee," Rose sighed. "The man we're after is Leon's relative."

"Leon!?"

"Yes. Now you know what happened that day...and you know how much Ryo wanted to kill him for murdering his parents. He's got it in his head that Ryo is a potential threat, and a loose end. Ryo knows about the drugs, about the smuggling, and about the operations they pulled in the past. He knows a lot more than we do, and he's not telling a soul."

"Why would he?!"

"I can understand you are angry, but calm down. If Ryo was to tell anyone anything he knows, then they are in deep shit. NO ONE knows that you or I know. All they want is Ryo. This bust is to help bring down the operation and to keep them from killing Ryo. That's why I couldn't send him in, not that I wanted to."

"And you picked me?! Wise choice! They know my face!"

"Oh, do they?" Rose held up a computer generated photo pf the man he was supposed to be. To his amazement, it looked JUST like him. Dee snatched the flyer from him and stared at it. "What the..."

"It is your face. They picked a face at random, drew up a file, tweaked some shit here and there, and there you have it. You are this man, at least until they put your original file back."

"You changed everything?!"

"Everything, even your name. From now own you are David Loire. I trust you read the files I gave you."

Dee snorted for the fifth time in an hour and looked away. "What do you think?"

* * *

_**4 hours later...**_

"Shit..."

"Should I rub it in?!"

"AGGHH!! FUCK YOU!"

"Wrong choice of words!"

A worn boot flew out from the prone body lying upon the floor writhing in pain. He groaned unable to scream any louder and passed out from the second kick to the head. His neck would have snapped if he would have kicked him at a different angle, but he needed someone alive to face the charges. Another groan made him straiten himself out and hop over to one of the men caught in the crossfire. Eagerness on the head's part had alerted their targets a little too early and this...this mess was the end result. Bodies were strewn everywhere, either bleeding to death, twitching from shock, or curling into themselves from the injuries. His own throbbed unmercifully, but he wasn't worried about that. He was worried about the one sitting against the wall staring at him as he tried his best not to pass out. This was the last thing he wanted to happen, and the worst outcome he could think of. How those idiots could think of sacrificing their own man was unforgivable, and completely insane!

"Laytner....Laytner, are you okay??" he asked falling down at his side. "Can you hear me?!"

"....of course....and....you're still annoying," he groaned. "...You're....lucky...I can't get up, ugh, cause I'd beat you into the ground."

"I deserve that, but I DIDN'T know they were going to sacrifice you," he sighed. "I thought they would...pop in before...before..."

"Hey...don't sweat it." Dee smiled a bit and closed his eyes. "I believe...you."

"Hey! Don't you close your eyes on me!"

"I can...damn well....do what I want! I'm a free man...and I can die if I want to..."

Rose's eyes lit up in horror as the blood flowed freely from his grinning lips. His hand grasped the wound tightly once more, and then relaxed as he finally gave in. Rose screamed for him to wake up, but it was of no use.

"Oh god...no..."

The sounds of men rushing into the place made him look up. He didn't even know what he was doing, but before he could realize just what was happening, men were pulling him off of the head man of the entire operation. He spat on his face and kicked to get back at him, but his injury and several men hauling him backward kept him at bay.

"You son of a fucking bitch!" he spat. "YOU ARE A GODDAMNED IDIOT! How....how could you?!" he screamed hysterically. "Why didn't you come...WHY DIDN'T YOU MOVE WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO?!"

He didn't answer. Rose relaxed himself enough to slip away from those men and used his good leg to kick him in the face. He howled holding his nose and glared at Rose being held at bay once more.

"GO ON. SAY SOMETHING!" Rose barked. "I DARE YOU!"

"Rose, calm yourself."

"Why should I?!" he spat in another direction. "My man is dead and you want me to calm down?! Who the fuck are you to tell me to calm down?!"

"The head of the FBI is who," a stronger voice answered. A lone man made his way through the crowd of men. Rose was still fighting mad, but he remained calm as the brawny elder man stopped at his head officer's side. The head officer looked up at him holding his nose.

"You deserved that," he said quietly. "I told you not to do it that way..."

"But...sir!"

"NO buts. You should have moved when I told you, not five minutes later. I'll deal with you later. In the meantime, get that looked at. As for you, Rose," he sighed looking to the raging man, "I can't express how sorry I am that this happened."

"No, you can't," he murmured angrily.

"Sir!" one of the officers cried. "Sir...come here! You won't believe this!"

* * *

_"Well I'll be damned," he whistled. "That's one lucky son of a bitch."_

_"Tell me about it," she sighed in awe. "It just barely missed..."_

_"Whatever the case, he's going to be laid up for a while," he laughed turning back to the task at hand. "He's a strong one, this guy. Always bouncing back."_

_"You've treated him before?"_

_"My dear....all I can say is that this man is one hell of a survivor."_

* * *

Soft caring fingers caressed his messy black locks. He was barely aware of it, but he could feel a soft breeze beneath the light caresses. Such warmth here before him, but he could not see who or what was giving him this comfort. It was more than welcome and he leaned into the soft touches, almost smiling to himself as a voice hummed very lightly. If only he had an guitar, he could have formed words to that wordless melody. He listened intently, loving every moment of that tune adrift in the winds floating into his ears. The voice humming it was very soft, loving, and meant only for him to hear. Don't ask him how he knew it. It was just a message underlying the smile he knew was above him, and in those arms holding him close. Though he could not see it, he was faintly aware of the tears falling onto his face. Just who was it who could dare to cry over a dead body? His own no less?

"Oh Dee...I wish I could see your eyes..."

_Don't you let me go..._

That voice...it was so familiar. When one died, did he tend to forget who or what was in his life passed? Perhaps it was better that way, so the soul would not grieve over the regrets one tended to harbor. He had no regrets....

_Please just hang on a little longer..._

"Dee...you said you'd try...try to come back," the voice sobbed brokenly over him. Another tear fell onto his cheek and trickled down into his sealed lips, seeping through as the voice drew nearer. He could feel the warm breath of that man upon his cold skin before hot lips pressed themselves to the same patch of skin. Another tear fell directly into his now parted lips and dissolved on his tongue.

_**Ryo...**_

_My tears don't want to leave my face..._

"You can't leave me now...not after...everything we've been through," he cried silently. "Please Dee...please! I don't want to be alone..."

**_You will never be alone..._**

_It's your soul making me a little stronger..._

"....I can't live without you...I love you..."

If souls were supposed to forget in their wandering death, he certainly did not qualify as living impaired. How he wished he could open his eyes and tell his angel that everything would be alright, but his mind had no control over his body. He was stuck in this strange darkness, forced to listen to the love of his life scream within as he sobbed uncontrollably over him. It was enough to drive him mad, and surely he would have if not for a sudden bright light blinding him.

_What the--?!_

"Seriously Dee, you have got to stop coming up here before you're supposed to," someone murmured. "You're going to make our return policy into a living nightmare."

It was yet another voice that was familiar to him, but he could not quite place it without the face to accompany it. As if he had wished it aloud, the darkness faded within the light. He could see now, but he was not where he believed himself to be. Purgatory was supposed to be a place of eternal emptiness. This place was not empty, nor was it nothing more than a place for lost souls. It was much more than that, much grander in a simplicity that could not go unappreciated by the coldest of men. The sheer beauty of it all was enough to take his breath away for the entire time he stared into the haven for those meant to dwell within these heavens. Just how was it that he had ended up here again anyhow?!

"You died is how," that other voice mentioned, "but not officially. Your body is still alive, but you've let yourself go."

"Let myself...wait, I can talk!" he cried wrapping a hand around his throat. He blinked and moved his hand again. "I can move...."

"Well duh. The only thing holding you down was you, but...that can be changed."

"Who...who's talking to me?"

The voice laughed heartily through the sound gust of warm wind. "Idiot. You're only talking to the one person you prayed for every night after my untimely death. Still smarts every now and again, but I'm still good."

".....Arnon?!"

The voice became a face he could not forget even in death. Arnon stood before him, bright eyed and red-cheeked as he always had been when he was younger, smiling brightly at him with the strangest warmth he had ever felt. This warmth within him was not only that of Arnon, but of the one man Dee had actually dared to consider blood. He stood a distance away, staring into the creation hidden from the earthly plain, but smiling in his direction. Arnon laughed at the man and turned back to Dee.

"As you can see, he hasn't changed too much."

"So I see," he breathed heavily. "Arnon...what did you mean?"

"About you holding yourself down? Heh, poor Dee," he chuckled moving closer, "so many perceptions of death but only one true death awaits every soul. You held yourself down. It was only when that man Ryo kissed you did you will yourself to move..."

"...Ryo...."

"Yeah, Ryo. Dee you big dope...you've still too much too do!"

"Huh?! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"It means that you don't get off that easily," Arnon smirked. "You can't be that lazy and get away with it. Time to go."

"What?! I just got here!"

"And now you're leaving. See you in a few decades!"

_And I'm falling deep into your very soul  
It's taking over me; I'm losing control..._

Dee didn't have a chance in hell of getting away. Arnon shoved him gently, but the wind in his lungs flushed outward as the pressure of being tossed back finally hit him hard. He fell away from the loving smiles of those lost to him, fell away from the darkness and the light, and landed hard against the cushion of flesh lying prone on that hospital bed. He gasped inwardly, but his body was too weak for such a sudden motion in outward means. The warmth of his angel was suddenly very real against his body, tired and worn out from fighting so long. He had long since stopped sobbing and now rested against him in a very deep and troubled sleep. He didn't have to see it to feel it, but he had the choice now of opening his eyes.

"Dee..."

_I wouldn't be here if you hadn't looked into my eyes..._

He couldn't. It was just too much for him. Sighing silently into the night air, he turned his head into the soft honey kissed tresses resting upon his chest and lightly squeezed the hand twined in his. He would always love him, would always treasure him, and would forever be grateful to hear those three words that had been keeping him alive longer than he could have imagined.

_So don't you worry darling...I'm not ready to say goodbye..._

Perhaps the one thing that he would remember most even in death, were those sweet kisses left to him in the hour of twilight. If it weren't for those, he didn't know if he could ever live again.

* * *

_**Three weeks later...**_

When he meant it was taken care of, he meant it was taken care of. He meant it with every fiber in his being, and he made sure that what went down was recorded and fixed in the manner it should have been. Nothing was left out, nothing was left unturned, and he made sure that every bit of the story was clear enough for everyone to understand. If they didn't get it, he didn't have the time to beat it into their heads. It was there in the report for them to read.

"Sir...are you ready?"

Placing his pen down finally, he rose from his desk with a sigh. It felt as if he had been sitting behind that thing forever. He placed his papers away and stored them neatly in his file cabinets. Lately it seemed as if those cabinets were getting too fat for their own good. In a sense, they would never thin out. There was always going to be something going one, someone breaking some law somewhere, taking a life or taking their own out of fear. It was a sad world to be absorbed in, but he tried his best not to think about it. Although, it was harder not to think about it when he took his cane from its place in the corner.

"How long are you going to be using that thing, sir?" he asked softly.

"For a long while," he sighed. He smiled to show that it didn't bother him as much as everyone thought, and got a smile out of the man at his door in return. "Ah, don't worry about me. I'm just less likely to get shot again."

"Don't say that..."

"Aw come on JJ ...don't worry about it. I'm not doing anything like that for as long as I can avoid it."

"Are you sure?"

"Count on it. So," he smiled walking forward to tower over the purple haired youth staring up at him, "You want to go to dinner afterwards?"

"....sir?"

"Tch, come on. I'm asking you out!"

JJ blinked twice. "Shit, and you say I'm tactless," he muttered smiling a bit. "Are you sure you can afford me?"

"I can afford the whole department and then some at the moment," Rose grinned. "I did win, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. So...how about Italian? I know a nice...little place..."

Rose chuckled and agreed. "Sure. Do you have it?"

"It's at my desk."

"Good. Let's go do this."

* * *

He was running. Damn it, he was running! Not even three minutes away from his spot and he was already running back for it. It didn't matter. He couldn't stop him even if he tried. A white hot pain shot through him as he landed hard in his spot, rising up once and falling down again with the popcorn in hand. Some spilled onto the floor, and a handful was shoved into the kid's mouth, unmindful to the fact that he was trying his best not to scream aloud.

It wasn't working.

"OW!! Damn it!" he swore screaming for the fifth time in five minutes. "Could you NOT bounce on the couch?!"

"Oops. Sorry..." the kid sighed. "I keep forgetting..."

"Do I have to be naked for you to see?" he grumbled leaning back a bit more. "Shit..."

"....sorry."

"....don't worry about it," he murmured. He felt sorry for the kid having to spend most of his day looking after him. It wasn't an easy thing knowing himself. He tended to do everything he wasn't supposed to do and was a bitch and a half to care for when he was laid up like this. Still, it didn't give him the right to snap at the kid. With a careful hand and half of a grin pointed in his direction, he ruffled the kid's hair and sighed to himself. "Just....take it easy on me, okay?"

"....okay."

How did a kid like him end up on the streets? He was smarter than the average kid and a hell of a lot more energetic. He was slightly envious of him at the moment since his little simian butt could adjust itself when it wanted to. He had to literally put half of whatever energy he had in him into shifting to get more comfortable. Forget about walking! There was no way in hell he was ready for it. It was too painful and he certainly didn't want to go back to the hospital because he made himself bleed internally. If that butcher nurse chew him out for ripped stitches...he couldn't and didn't even want to think about what she would do for a busted gut!

"Are you thinking about that nurse??" the kid asked.

"Hmm?! Is it....that obvious?"

"You're shaking all over! Ryo, Dee's thinking about that butch nurse again!" he called out. "Ryo!!"

Bad situations tended to lead to worse before things got better. Things were finally looking up as he spied his love sauntering out of the kitchen. He was out of the danger zone and home where he belonged, he finally had the love he craved from this god of a man looking down at him with nothing but love, and the kid was finally beginning to respect him. The only drawback to it all was the newest addition to the household sitting on the side of the couch. It wasn't ugly, but it wasn't welcome either.

"Bikky, why don't you watch the movie in my room?" Ryo said gently. "I have to talk to Dee for a few minutes."

Bikky unhurriedly slipped off of the couch with his popcorn in hand. When Ryo said he wanted to talk, he wasn't kidding. At least his television was bigger and louder!

"And there he goes," Dee sighed watching him run off. "I knew he couldn't resist."

"Dee? Can we talk for a minute?"

_Can we talk for a minute? Sure, we can talk forever, _Dee thought. _ Just don't tell me that I have to go to therapy..._

"I want you to consider therapy..."

"Oh no, not this again..."

"Dee, please!" Ryo pleaded, "Just think about it...you can barely move as it is, and you claim to hate that wheel chair more than you hate the idea of not walking--"

"And?!"

"And?! I want you back Dee, back to normal! I want the Dee that used to pounce on me regardless of where or when. I want the Dee who used to insist on dragging me out to places I never dreamed existed..."

"Baby, I can still do all that...."

"Really? So you can take a walk with me on a Rainy Sunday....take me someplace new you've never shared with anyone...kiss me under our favorite tree...then take me home and make love to me?"

"......okay......so maybe I CAN'T do all of that...especially the last part," he muttered silently to himself, "But--"

"No. No excuses. You've always had excuses given to you, so why pick up on the habit? Haven't you had enough of excuses for one lifetime?"

_**"I'm just not ready..."**_

_**"I don't know how I feel about...it all..."**_

_**"But, We're guys...!"**_

**_"You shouldn't have to be involved in something you don't need to be a part of."_**

**_"It's none of your business is why!"_**

**_"....I don't know why they did it, but perhaps it was for the best..."_**

Everyone had excuses. Some valid, others complete bullshit, and some that were truly questionable. For a man who took no bull from anyone, least of all himself, he sure was making up a new book of contradiction. People used to tell him that he was honest from the very first time he had spoken aloud, his first words being, "I hate you," to a man he could not remember now. Why he had said it was still a puzzle, but he didn't lie. According to mother, he never had a pension for mulling things over. He said things the way he saw them and sometimes he was a bit too blunt. Lord knew how blunt he had gotten with Ryo over the years, his feelings more than obvious toward the naive man. Yet, each time he could get a little closer, Ryo would push him away...with an excuse.

He was shoving his recovery away...with an excuse.

Sighing softly to himself, he sat back a little more against the cushion pillows. He crossed his arms and glanced over in Ryo's direction. "Do you really want....all of that?" he asked quietly. "All of it?"

"Yes...Dee! I'm tired of having to fight...I just want to live my life with you."

"Ryo..."

Ryo leaned forward and very gently leaned against one of the painless portions of his body. "I want you to sing to me," he whispered, "and play that guitar like you've never played before...please Dee...."

A heavy sigh reclined against the silence and Dee looked down at Ryo's sun kissed head. "Okay...fine. I'll go...if you come with me."

"You know I will... and I promise," he said looking up at him, "that my sweet kisses in the morning time will mean that I love you."

Dee smiled at him nuzzling the top of his head. He should have known.

"So...how's Rose doing with all of this?" he asked softly. "I know he's up and moving..."

"He's actually doing much better. He's still pretty upset about it all...."

Dee nodded and remained silent. He wasn't too happy about it either.

A light knock upon the door kept him from brooding. Ryo eased himself off of the couch and jogged over to answer it. Just who was it looking in on him this time? Drake? Ted? Diana? Or perhaps it was...

"Commissioner Rose?!" Ryo cried. "W-what are you..."

So the bastard had finally decided to drop a line. Dee stared over the rim of the couch. It was just like him to show up at the most inopportune times. Either then or when someone was discussing him. It was almost disgusting, but clearly worthy enough to be envied. Rose greeted Ryo with a smile, but the items in his hands were not meant for him. Dee was positive that Rose had only come over for appearance's sake, yet he found himself chewing on his bitterness when Rose turned to him smiling sadly. What the hell could he want now?

"Hey...Laytner."

"....what now?"

Rose snorted a bit and shook his head. "Nothing. I was...just passing by...is all."

"With flowers?"

"Yeah...well...I thought I could start with a token....before I start apologizing..."

_Rose? Apologize?! Too sweet! _"Uh huh..."

"Lay--Dee....I am sorry. I didn't--"

"Save it." he sighed. As much as he had loved picturing this moment, with a few minor adjustments (Rose being on his knees and begging him for forgiveness which can only be attained by bringing him the head of the chief officer of that operation), but it just wasn't the same. Besides, what did he have to be mad about? It wasn't his fault. "Just put the flowers on the table and sit down. I know your leg is killing you..."

"No more than your back."

"I'll heal. Now sit."

Rose took up the offer and made his way over to the couch. The moment he should be within sitting range, he plopped down with a groan of relief. His cane flew to the side into someone's waiting hands. It was only then did Dee notice him standing there rather than plastering himself to a certain someone. Either this kid had some incredible restraint or he **_had_** died and was now living in his alter ego's body.

"Don't worry Dee," JJ winked. "I'm on my best behavior today. Besides, I've got a hot date tonight."

Okay. He had died. "Say wha?!"

"Yeah! It's this cute guy....he's got blonde hair, wears these glasses that make him look gorgeous, Aaand...he happens to work with us! Three guesses who it is!"

Did Armageddon pass over them? Had the world ended? Did someone finally shoot that son of a bitch purple dinosaur and his clan of evil heathen Styrofoam buddies?! It was just too much!

"Ryo? Ryo!"

*thud*

"And I do believe that he has passed out," JJ snickered. "Poor Ryo...but he'll have a nice surprise waiting for him when he comes too."

"What do you mean?" Dee asked with a single canted brow raised higher than normal. "What surprise??"

Rose reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope. He handed it to Dee with a grin larger than his own and laughed madly just thinking about the contents. Dee thought the man had busted something in the lower regions of his "superior" brain. What could have gotten him so impetuous??

"What...is this?"

"Open it and see."

Well, what harm could it do? It couldn't have been much. The envelope was pretty thin and plain looking, and then there was his name scribbled on the front of it in someone else's hand. What, was it some letter of regret from the fu--freaking president himself? What a laugh. It would be something that che--

"Holy shit!!" he cried. "Unreal!! How...when?! WHERE?!"

"I told you...you would be taken care of," Rose smirked. "That was to be paid to your immediate family in case of your untimely death....but as you can see," he grinned darkly, "you lived."

"Damned strait!" Dee kissed the piece of paper in his hands. "Thank you Jesus!"

"Turns out they picked, or **_HE_** picked you because you had no official ties. He didn't have to pay anyone truly since you have no living relative."

"And where is the dumb fuck now?"

"Oh...somewhere out there...in a place undetectable by GPS."

Dee laughed evilly and sank into his spot again. Ryo was out cold, JJ hadn't pounced him, Rose was actually celebrating with him, and the kid still hadn't come out of the room. Life was good. Very good.

* * *

_**Five months later...**_

In the end, things had worked out for the better ultimately. Ryo and Dee were with one another at long last, enjoying life's every precious moment with the other. Life was too short, and that incident only half a year ago had made that very clear. They didn't dare take anything for granted anymore. It was just as easily lost as it was found. Somewhere within the time that had passed, Dee's new found wealth had purchased something he thought he would never buy. Needless to say Ryo's reaction when he showed it to him. He didn't think a man could scream and cry so hard from total joy.

Rose, for the most part, had settled down into desk duty. Dee could relate to him with both men stuck doing paperwork until they passed their physical evaluations. Dee wasn't in a rush to do much more than walk, which took him a good two months to do on his own. Rose simply wished to move on with his life, cane or no cane. The two of them, night and day within the same sky, found some common ground. They _**HATED **_the government with a passion and were filthy rich because of its stupidity.

After all the noise had settled down around the bust and things had finally been wrapped up and filed away for some rookie to read, Dee had dragged Ryo, Bikky, and Carol out into the city. He had remembered what Ryo had told him that day...

**_So you can take a walk with me on a Rainy Sunday....take me someplace new you've never shared with anyone...kiss me under our favorite tree...then take me home and make love to me?_**

He remembered, and he wanted to make good on Ryo's wish. It took some doing, but somehow he managed to deliver.

**_I want you to sing to me, and play that guitar like you've never played before...please Dee...._**

_"And its your sweet kiss that keeps me sane  
And it's your love which makes me humane  
A cold heart couldn't keep me from your smile  
So please just hold me for a little while_

_Keep me from the tundra deep within  
For without your love I'm frozen in sin  
Sweet Angel spread your wings for me  
Won't you please come and set me free~~~"_

He strummed loudly upon his guitar, smiling over at Ryo sitting aside him beneath their favorite tree in the middle of Central Park. Ryo's pretty red cheeks were aglow from the scent of spring which was in the middle of its prime, and from the radiant smile of his lover singing to him aloud rather than upon a rooftop somewhere far from his ears. He leaned against Dee in content, smiling into him as the sweet scent of the grass drifted upward to mingle with the flora of a nearby garden. Somewhere close by on the same patch of grass, Bikky lay in the sun wrapped in his jacket tapping his foot steadily to the beat of Dee's song. Carol sat aside him in a daze, dreaming of the Day Bikky would have the nerve to be that romantic. Judging from his slack composure and his juvenile chewing of a piece of straw, she knew she had a long ways to wait...but it would be worth it.

Dee hummed to the tune of his guitar, admiring the beauty of a place left standing as its surroundings were covered by the city they lived in. It was so beautiful and so ugly, just as life tended to be. One moment he could be on top of the world, and the very next moment he could be lying in an alley cold and just a breath away from death. For a while it seemed that way for him. He went from finding the love he wanted to give returned, to being shot in the chest and backside and knocking on death's door, only to complete a U-turn from the pearly gates and come tumbling down to this world again. It was all uphill from the moment he woke in that bed curled around his lover. It was the only way to go really.

"Dee?"

He stopped his strumming for a second and looked at his partner. "Yeah?"

"...my answer is yes."

His answer was-- "Are you serious?! You mean it?!" Dee cried. "Really?!"

Ryo nodded softly and laughed as Dee tackled him to the grass. His left hand fell above his head and rested within the sun with a simple band glimmering brightly against nature at its finest. That hand soon rested upon Dee's cheek with the other. Dee leaned into his touch to kiss the center of both hands. He had been waiting for that answer for weeks now!

"You're sure," Dee said looking down at him. "No changing your mind??"

"I'm sure. I want to move into a bigger place with you."

"Yes! Let's go apartment hunting as soon as possible. Okay?"

"Okay," he laughed.

"Promise to never let me go?" Dee whispered.

"Only if you promise me I'll wake up to your kiss every morning."

Dee grinned wildly and sealed the deal. Not too far away, Bikky was gagging at the love birds and Carol was swooning. They knew they would be in the other's company at Carol's house this night coming. Bikky had heard that promise himself, and he smiled quietly in the sunlight.

It was about time.

* * *

~~The End~~

Author's Note:

Everything in Italics and in Bradley hand are my own personal lyrics! *angry demon mode* DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING THEM DAMN IT!

*chibi mode* Okay! Hope you liked the fic. ^.^


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